All of the Drunk Hulk Interviews:


Here is the updated list of all the interviews Drunk Hulk has done over the last couple of years in chronological order.

THE SECRET PORTOBELLO MUSHROOM INTERVIEW!

Where is your favourite place to drink?

DRUNK HULK LIKE DRINK AT CHILIS! THEY STUPID! THEY HAPPY HOUR 10 HOUR LONG! IT LIKE DRINK INSIDE TARDIS!

THE FANNYPACK NINJAS INTERVIEW!

FPN: DRUNKHULK, you’ve made quite the career for yourself on Twitter, in which you have 140 characters to expound your insights upon us followers. Do you feel print is dead? Would you ever consider writing a book?

DH: DRUNK HULK NO THINK PRINT DEAD! DRUNK HULK NO WORRY! THERE PLENTY ROOM FOR ALL! WHAT IMPORTANT IS STORY! AND OPPORTUNITY FOR STORY BE READ!

AS FOR DRUNK HULK WRITE BOOK! DRUNK HULK HARD WORK ON NOVEL! GREAT DRACSY! IT STORY OF DEMETER SHIP LANDING IN WEST EGG! AND GATSBY WITH HELP OF SIDEKICK NICK MUST FIGHT DRACULA TO SAVE DAISY!

DRUNK HULK VERY EXCITE ABOUT BOOK! IT SHOULD BE PERFECT PRODUCT IN AGE OF COMPLETE NO ORIGINALITY! BECAUSE MASH UP IS NEW INNOVATION! BECAUSE WHY BORROW SOMEONE ELSE IDEA WHEN YOU CAN BORROW TWO PEOPLES IDEA!

THE MY SAN ANTONIO INTERVIEW!

Q : Favorite band?

A : DEPEND ON DRUNK HULK MOOD! SOMETIME DRUNK HULK GO WITH HEADBAND! SOMETIME DRUNK HULK GO WITH SWEATBAND!

SOMETIME BOTH IF DRUNK HULK WANT BE EXTRA SEXY!

THE WE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DIE INTERVIEW!

What would people be surprised to know about you?

THAT DRUNK HULK NO REAL! THAT IT REALLY WRITER PRETEND BE DRUNK HULK!

If you had to name one song as your theme song, what would it be?

DRUNK HULK KEEP IT SIMPLE! JUST SOME SLOW DEPRESS PIANO MUSIC WILL DO!

THE COVER STORIES INTERVIEW!

What do you think of the current resurgence of 3D?

DRUNK HULK NO UNDERSTAND 3-D CRAZE! IT NO IMPRESS DRUNK HULK! ALL 3-D MOVIE SAME! THEY OUT OF FOCUS! BLURRY! YOU NO SEE NOTHING HAPPENING! DRUNK HULK COMPLAIN TO CINEMA MANAGER! AND HE SAY PUT GLASS ON LIKE DRUNK HULK OLD MAN! DRUNK HULK NO NEED GLASS! DRUNK HULK SEE FINE! MANAGER TRY GIVE DRUNK HULK HIS GLASS! LIKE DRUNK HULK POOR PERSON WHO NO AFFORD OWN GLASS! JUST FIX STUPID CAMERA!

THE TIGER BEAT INTERVIEW!

Do you have any pets?

NO PET FOR DRUNK HULK! NO SINCE SEA MONKEY DRUNK HULK HAD AS KID! HIS NAME WAS MR BELVEDERE! HE COULD NO BE ALONE! DESTROY FURNITURE! AND FLING CRAP ALL OVER PLACE!  DRUNK HULK HAD FLUSH MR BELVEDERE DOWN TOILET! DRUNK HULK CAN STILL HEAR HIS HORROR SCREAM! AND REMEMBER WAY HE NO WANT LET GO OF TOILET! POOR MR BELVEDERE!

THE DRUNK HULK PLAYBOY CENTERFOLD INTERVIEW!

What’s the best or most creative pick-up line you’ve ever heard?

DRUNK HULK ONCE SAY TO GIRL, “STRANGER DANGER! YOU JUST LURE DRUNK HULK INTO YOU VAN WITH SWEET CANDY THAT REPRESENT YOU BEAUTY!” DRUNK HULK TOTALLY GOT HER NUMBER! BUT DRUNK HULK WAIT TOO LONG CALL! CAUSE HER PHONE WAS DISCONNECT!

A SUPERHERO’S GUIDE TO SOCIAL MEDIA!

Do you have any privacy concerns associated with broadcasting your location through services such as FoursquareFacebook Places or SCVNGR?

GOT NO INTEREST IN LET ALL PEOPLES KNOW WHERE DRUNK HULK IS ALL TIME! DRUNK HULK THINK IT INTEREST THAT PEOPLES WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT PRIVACY MOST! ARE SAME WHO POST THEY LOCATION EVERY TWO MINUTE!

FOR SERIOUSLY! UNLESS YOU NAME WALDO OR BEEF! DRUNK HULK NO WANT KNOW WHERE YOU IS!

THE DEATH STAR PR INTERVIEW!

DSPR: Any tips on winners? We need to know who to put our Galactic credits on.

DH: LET REVIEW NOMINATION!

THE FIGHTER! THE KING’S SPEECH! WOW! TWO UNDERDOG STORY ABOUT HOW BROTHER DO NOTHING BUT DRAG YOU DOWN! IF DRUNK HULK WANT SEE THIS STORY! DRUNK HULK READ ABOUT ALEC BALDWIN!

TRUE GRIT! LISTEN OSCAR! DRUNK HULK KNOW IT HABIT! BUT JUST BECAUSE COEN BROTHER MAKE MOVIE! NO MEAN YOU GOT NOMINATE IT!

INCEPTION! DRUNK HULK LIKE THIS MOVIE! BECAUSE DRUNK HULK SEE SOMETHING NO EVER SEE BEFORE! LIKE PART WHERE CHARACTER ENTER GIANT PLOT HOLE INSIDE GIANT PLOT HOLE INSIDE GIANT PLOT HOLE! IT LIKE JOE ESZTERHAS AND M.C. ESCHER MAKE MOVIE TOGETHER!

BLACK SWAN! DRUNK HULK WAIT LONG TIME FOR GOOD DARIO ARGENTO MOVIE! SAD PART IS! ARGENTO NO MAKE IT!

NOMAD EDITIONS U+ME INTERVIEW!

@joshdobbin What makes a Drunk Hulk angry?

@DRUNKHULK RIGHT NOW IT LOU BEGA’S MAMBO #5! DRUNK HULK WORRY THERE FOUR OTHER MAMBO OUT THERE! WAIT FOR RIGHT MOMENT TO STRIKE!

THE INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS TIMES INTERVIEW

Your commentary covers everything from politics to reality TV to British royalty. Where do you get most of your news?

ALL NEWS FROM INTERNET! THIS WAY DRUNK HULK KNOW IT ALL TRUE!

Are there any topics that are off-limits?

TOO SOON! ELLEN! TOO SOON!

THE ONLY iPHONE RUMOR ROUNDUP YOU NEED: AN INTERVIEW WITH DRUNK HULK!

Another rumor making the rounds is that the next iPhone will support Near Field Communication (NFC). If this materializes, will it spur a new era of innovation around mobile payments?

NEAR FIELD COMMUNICATION? WHAT ABOUT IF DRUNK HULK WANT COMMUNICATE WITH SOMEONE ON FAR FIELD? THIS SEEM LIKE TERRIBLE MISTAKE! IF IT NEAR FIELD! DRUNK HULK CAN WALK OVER AND TALK IN PERSON! DRUNK HULK MORE WORRY ABOUT COMMUNICATING WITH GUY IN FAR FIELD!

HEY APPLE! YOU REALLY DROP BALL ON mePHONE 5: FIELDS OF TERROR!

DRUNK HULK’S NERD SHUTTLE INTERVIEW

You’re a giant drunk green monster, so do you have trouble going into a Babies R Us?

DRUNK HULK HAVE NO PROBLEM GOING ANYWHERE! WELL! EXCEPT ALCHOLIC ANONYMOUS! DRUNK HULK NO GO THERE! BECAUSE DRUNK HULK THINK THEIR 12 STEP PROGRAM NO FAIR TO PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS!

 DRUNK HULK INTERVIEW WITH TIM FARGO

Now, the legend is that you started DRUNK HULK as a bit of a lark. Is that true, or had you received some special PSYCH OPS training prior to gaining mental control of your audience?
DRUNK HULK NEVER WANTED TO BE DRUNK HULK! BUT THEN ONE DAY DRUNK HULK WENT TO COLLEGE! DRUNK HULK PASS COLLEGE WITH 5.0! UNFORTUNATELY! THAT BAC! NOT GPA!

 

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About Christian A. Dumais

Christian A. Dumais is an American writer, humorist and public speaker living in Wrocław, Poland. He has published fiction, journalism, and academic articles in several magazines and journals such as GUD, Shock Totem and Ha!Art. His first collection of short stories, Empty Rooms Lonely Countries, was published in 2009. He also created, edited, and contributed to Cover Stories, a euphictional anthology of 100 stories inspired by songs, which was published in 2010. His most recent book is SMASHED: The Life and Tweets of Drunk Hulk.

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