DRUNK HULK 2013 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION!


THERAPIST SAY DRUNK HULK NEED MAKE GOAL FOR NEW YEAR! AGAIN! BECAUSE IT IMPORTANT CREATE NEW WAY TO DISAPPOINT YOUSELF IN LIFE! HERE ARE DRUNK HULK NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR 2013!

RESOLUTIONS

• DRUNK HULK PROMISE TAKE CARE OF 2013! SO IT NO GO OUT OF DATE LIKE 2012!

• DRUNK HULK TRY STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE! ESPECIALLY TO IDIOTS AND ALL STUPID THINGS THEY DO!

• “DRUNK HULK STOP BELIEVING EVERY MORGAN FREEMAN QUOTE ON BOOKFACE!” – MORGAN FREEMAN!

• DRUNK HULK LEARN MAKE EYE CONTACT! EVEN IF IT SUPPOSE BE BLIND DATE!

• DRUNK HULK LEARN WRITE DOWN PHONE MESSAGE MORE!

WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!!• DRUNK HULK STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING ON DAVE MATTHEWS!

• DRUNK HULK LOST LOT WEIGHTS LAST YEAR! NOW DRUNK HULK NEED FIND THEM! TO GET BACK IN SHAPE!

• DRUNK HULK FIND MATT DRUDGE! GIVE HIM HUG HE DESPERATELY NEED!

• DRUNK HULK HATE TO ADVOCATE PURPLE PANTS TO ANYONE! BUT THEY ALWAYS WORK FOR DRUNK HULK!

• DRUNK HULK STOP KANYE WEST FROM IMPREGNATING KIM KARDASHIAN! STUPID DAVE MATTHEWS!

• DRUNK HULK NO CRY SO MUCH! SO NO MORE EPISODE OF PARENTHOOD!

• DRUNK HULK GET PEOPLE ADMIT THAT USING “IT COMPLICATED” ON BOOKFACE IS REALLY ONLY BID FOR ATTENTION!

• DRUNK HULK INVENT RIVERLAPDANCE!

DRUNK HULK ACCEPT FACT THAT GRAY NO GOT THAT MANY SHADES!

• 800X600!

Previously on Drunk Hulk…

Here are Drunk Hulk’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2012.

Top 10 Drunk Hulk Tweets of 2012.

Drunk Hulk’s Most Sexiest People of 2012.

DH Critics

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About Christian A. Dumais

Christian A. Dumais is an American writer, humorist and public speaker living in Wrocław, Poland. He has published fiction, journalism, and academic articles in several magazines and journals such as GUD, Shock Totem and Ha!Art. His first collection of short stories, Empty Rooms Lonely Countries, was published in 2009. He also created, edited, and contributed to Cover Stories, a euphictional anthology of 100 stories inspired by songs, which was published in 2010. His most recent book is SMASHED: The Life and Tweets of Drunk Hulk.

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