My favorite Drunk Hulk tweets

Posted on Posted in Drunk Hulk

Since I posted Drunk Hulk’s top ten most popular tweets (based on the number of retweets), I thought it might be fun to post my top ten personal favorite Drunk Hulk tweets with commentary. 

Here we go…

10. RESEARCH SAY PORN MAKE MAN SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE! BUT DRUNK HULK WORRY ABOUT SUPPORTING GAY MARRIAGE TOO MANY TIME IN ONE DAY!

[When I’ve done this joke on stage, it’s more like this: “Research showed that men who masturbate to porn are more likely to support gay marriage. I don’t understand the science behind this. I just know that I’ve been supporting gay marriage since I was 12 years old. I sometimes supported gay marriage 3, maybe 4 time a day.”]

9. WOMAN EATEN BY LION WHILE HAVING SEX! THIS WHY IT SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE SAFEWORD!

[Like most Drunk Hulk tweets, this is a reaction to a real story. I love this one in particular because it feels like something I’d see in The Far Side cartoon.]

8. CZECH/CHECHEN IS YOUR/YOU’RE OF GEOGRAPHY!

[Remember when everyone was getting those two countries confused? Man, that was weird, right?]

7. ARTICLE ABOUT HOOKER WHO HAVE SEX FOR CHEESEBURGER! THIS STORY COMBINE TWO OF DRUNK HULK FAVORITE THING! CHEESE! AND BURGER!

[I’m very proud of this one and part of me thinks I shouldn’t be.]

6. PUTIN! WIFEOUT!

[This is from when Putin divorced his wife. One of those jokes where I was the only one who enjoyed it. Come on! That’s some clever stuff right there…or maybe not.]

5. MAN ARRESTED AFTER TRYING TO TRADE SALAD FOR BLOWJOB FROM UNDERCOVER COP! GREAT! NOW BEING VEGETARIAN IS A CRIME!

[I apparently like way too many jokes involving sex, masturbation and blowjobs.]

4. 5.5 TONS OF NUTELLA STOLEN IN GERMANY! SOMETIME IT FEEL LIKE DRUNK HULK NOT LIVING UP TO FULL POTENTIAL!

[This is a real news story too. I imagine the criminals sitting on a beach somewhere, morbidly overweight, eating buckets of Nutella, saying, “We did it. We were finally able to retire.”]

3. STUDY SAY DRINKING ENHANCE PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS! WHEN DRUNK HULK FINISH THIS BEER! DRUNK HULK FIX YOUR BROKEN HEART!

[I loved Drunk Hulk’s pick-up lines and I wish I did more of them (the book puts all of his pick-up lines together in one chapter for easy reference – try them out at your favorite bar tonight!), I love this one because it’s sweet. Drunk Hulk is such a softie.]

If you’re curious what my two most favorite Drunk Hulk tweets are, you can find out in SMASHED: THE LIFE AND TWEETS OF DRUNK HULK, which includes Drunk Hulk’s tweets with annotations, essays and much more…

SMASHED THE LIFE AND TWEETS OF DRUNK HULK COVER