On Writing

My name is Christian A. Dumais…

Most of you probably found your way here because of Drunk Hulk.

People tell me that I don’t do a good job of letting other people know who I am; that I spend too much time sitting in your closet watching you sleep rather than just getting into bed with you. I want to change that.

No, not get into bed with you. Unless…no. Letting people know who I am.

If we’ve never met before, my name is Christian A. Dumais. My middle name is Alexander. That’s something.

I’m a writer. I’ve written what feels like a million short stories, articles, essays and lots of other stuff. I’ve been published in magazines and newspapers all over the world. And some of my short stories have been collected in books like Empty Rooms Lonely Countries and Cover Stories (which you can buy for crazy cheap as PDFs at the bottom of this page!). My stories are often funny, sometimes scary, and sometimes I even write about myself to see where I’ve been and where I need to go. I’m currently working on what people consider to be a serious novel.

I love writing. When I’m not writing, I’m doing teaching things to pay the bills, and when I’m not doing those things in the Real World, I like to cook strange recipes, read books, and spend time with my lovely wife and our two dogs. We have twins on the way. Like most people expecting twins, we hope they’ll eventually bring balance to the Force.

There’s a strong probability that I live really far away from you. You may have seen where I live on the board game of Risk.

Some people have told me that I’m famous, but it’s important to know that I’m not. At least not in the way you think. I’m famous in the same way that one kid in high school accidentally crapped his pants in history class and everyone laughed until they cried. I’m what you call Internet Famous, which holds the same amount of weight as that guy who cuts down a tree only to have it fall on his own house in last month’s Fail Video (I love that guy!).

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and say Hello.

If this were in person, this would be the part where I give you an uncomfortably long hug that. changes. everything.

You can buy PDFs of both books right now.

Empty Rooms Lonely Countries is $3.

Cover Stories is $2.

Or you can buy both for $4.