babyDr. E. Bickerstaff is one of the leading experts on parenting. Not only does he have seven step-children, he also has a PhD in International Studies. Here are a few of his parenting tips, as taken from his Twitter account @parentation:

  • Remember to help save the environment and flush all your dirty diapers down the toilet.
  • When your baby is crying, it’s probably because they’re hungry. Or it could mean they are dying.
  • It’s hard to know why a baby is crying, especially after being changed and fed. 30% of the time it’s because they’re disappointed in you.
  • Don’t pass on your cynical nature to your children. Teach optimism. Sometimes strangers really do have candy in their vans.
  • When to discuss God with your child is an important step in their development. Until then, always refer to God as “Batman.”
  • Remember: Bath time is the most important part of your child’s week.
  • Before adopting a child, practice by adopting a highway first.
  • If the child continues to be confused about the notion of death, consider killing the other puppies too.


About Christian A. Dumais

Christian A. Dumais is an American writer, humorist and public speaker living in Wrocław, Poland. He has published fiction, journalism, and academic articles in several magazines and journals such as GUD, Shock Totem and Ha!Art. His first collection of short stories, Empty Rooms Lonely Countries, was published in 2009. He also created, edited, and contributed to Cover Stories, a euphictional anthology of 100 stories inspired by songs, which was published in 2010. His most recent book is SMASHED: The Life and Tweets of Drunk Hulk.

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