Paula Deen’s Apology Outtakes!

Pink Deen Apology

Yesterday, television chef Paula Deen issued an apology on YouTube for having used racial slurs in the past. Her original apology video was taken down and then later replaced by another apology video. The uploaded videos are two of many takes Deen made in an attempt to create the perfect apology. Here are some of the outtakes from the video apologies Deen did not use:

Apology #3

“I want people to understand that my family and I are not racist. I thought the power of the N-word was a myth, like fat free butter, or the Holocaust.”

Apology #17

“I’d like to end with a quote from my favorite book Huckleberry Finn.”

Apology #25

“We’re not the kind of people that the press says we are. We’re probably much worse. Wait…”

Apology #32

“I was wrong. I’ve worked as hard as a slave and I’ve made mistakes but that is no exc– What the fuck did I do now?”

Apology #44

“I was born 60 years ago, when times were different. And because of this, I’m incapable of recognizing when I do something wrong. I choked a man to death yesterday. Is this wrong? I honestly don’t know, because 60 years ago this was perfectly normal.”

Apology #58

“I hope that you forgive me because this comes from the deepest part of my heart. The part not corrupted by cholesterol and dead tissue.”

Apology #62

“Like you are all so perfect. Here’s something, it’s D-E-E-N. Not D-E-A-N! Christ! I’m tired of that shit.”

Apology #71

“I want to learn and grow from this. Inappropriate and hurtful language is totally, totally unacceptable when you’re in public, especially in front of people who might sue you.”

Apology #88

“Your color of your skin, your religion, your sexual preference does not matter. It’s what in the heart that matters. My family and I try to live by that, even though it’s been scientifically proven that some races don’t even have hearts… What? Now you’re going to tell me science is wrong?”

Apology #96

“I have had the pleasure of being allowed into so many homes across the country, most times legally.”

Apology #108

I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way but I beg you, my children, my team, my fans, my partners, my lifemates, my butter-buddies, my homies, my BFFs, my peeps, my posse, my Deen-o-nauts …what was I just talking about?”

Apology #112

“If I’m supposed to be believe it’s not butter, then the least you can do is believe I’m not racist.”

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