PUFF CHRISSY

N. Pendleton does Drunk Hulk!

Christian A. Dumais — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:40:12 +0000

My friend and artist N. Pendleton has finally decided to do Drunk Hulk. And it’s pretty glorious.

Click the image to see the whole thing on his site. And then click around and take a look at his other amazing work, including his wonderful comic strip Feral Boy and Gilgamesh at the End of the World.

“Anthony Bourdain Gets His Breaking News Via The Drunk Hulk Twitter Account”

Christian A. Dumais — Fri, 18 May 2012 07:59:46 +0000

(Click the picture to read the story at The Braiser)

West Coast Wednesdays: West Coast Avengers Vol. 2, #74

Christian A. Dumais — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:18:27 +0000

West Coast Avengers, Vol. 2, Issue 74 (September 1991)

WEST COAST CREDITS!

Writer: Roy and Dann Thomas

Penciler: David Ross

Inker: Tim Dzon

WEST COAST SUMMARY!

Demonica has surfaced! Now it’s up to Hawkeye, Spider-Woman and U.S. Agent to save the day. But is the team prepared for The Change?

WEST COAST THOUGHTS!

Starting right where we left off last issue (West Coast Avengers Vol. 2, #73), Dr. Demonicus orders the execution of Scarlet Witch and Pele. Immediately his crew starts bickering about who gets to kill them as the team is forced to watch helplessly. The Living Lightning steps in and stops them from hurting the women, claiming that while he agreed to join the Pacific Overlords, he didn’t agree to murder helpless women.

Just then, Hawkeye, Spider-Woman, U.S. Agent and Sunfire come diving out of the quinjet to save the day. However, things turn pretty bleak with the Pacific Overlords taking them down one at a time. Dr. Demonicus tries to take Scarlet Witch hostage, but once again the Living Lightning steps in, telling him that he’s not putting innocent women in danger. Dr. Demonicus takes out the device and threatens to deactivate the Living Lightning’s suit, but because he’s too busy explaining rather than actually doing, the Living Lightning simply destroys the deactivator with his powers at the blink of an eye.

With that distraction, a now conscious Scarlet Witch is able to focus and use her hex powers to free the rest of the team from the glass tubes. With the team at full strength, they’re able to take down the Pacific Overlords. Dr. Demonicus tells his right-hand man Kain to defeat the enemies, but he says it’s hopeless. “We must,” he says, ” attempt the Change!”

And with that, he begins growing into a giant synthetic creature with studs growing out of his that – as the team learns when they attack him – allow him to control anything mechanical in his vicinity.

Changed Kain silently takes down the big players on the team. Wasp flies up and enters his ear and stings him from within. This stuns Changed Kain and falls to the ground unconscious (usually this role is played by Scarlet Witch, so this is a refreshing change!).

Finally, they have Dr. Demonicus, but he has one trick left up his sleeve. He reveals a conveniently placed giant TV screen which shows a non-disfigured version of him at the U.N. getting Demonica to be accepted as one of its members. It’s amazing how I can accept mutants, monsters, Gods and everything else fantastical in the Marvel universe, but I’m forced to call bullshit at a crazy efficient U.N. that accepts a new nation within minutes after it surfaces above water.

The Dr. Demonicus at the U.N. is a genetically altered lackey that’s meant to look like the real deal. Also in attendance is Kenjiro Sasaki, the mutated toddler that was locked away at the compound. His parents, who are on Demonica, are relieved to see their son back to normal (Dr. Demonicus insists that it was all meant to be temporary), while no one on the team questions how Kenjiro escaped the compound.

Because Demonica is now a sovereign nation, the team realizes that they have no jurisdiction there, and they are forced to leave.

Tigra radios the team on the quinjet and lets everyone know that she was rescued by Australian Aboriginies…and that she’d like to stay and hang out with them for a while. She then nominates Spider-Woman to take her place on the team, which everyone agrees with. U.S. Agent is added to the team (“I’m a regular or I’m nothing!” he demands) to take Pym’s place. And Wasp suggests that the Living Lightning take her place.

And we now have a brand new West Coast Avengers: Hawkeye, Wonder Man, Scarlet Witch, Spider-Woman, Iron Man, U.S. Agent and the Living Lightning. This is probably the most dramatic change on the team since the book started.

WEST BOAST OR ROAST?

Boast. This one is so ridiculously stupid, you really can’t help but love it.

WEST COAST SCENE (OF THE WEEK)!

Oops, they accidentally made Iron Man lame and Wonder Man cool on this page.

Previously on West Coast Wednesdays…

Every WTF with Marc Maron…

Christian A. Dumais — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:23:45 +0000

I’m a big fan of Marc Maron’s WTF podcast and I’ve spent weeks binging on his numerous interviews with famous comedians and celebrities. After a while, I started to notice some patterns with the way he deals with his guests, and I took down some notes.

Below is my interpretation of every WTF with Marc Maron.

◊ ◊ ◊

00:00:44 – Maron begins a rant.

00:02:17 – A cat is mentioned.

00:08:21 – The rant’s length becomes uncomfortable.

00:10:33 – Maron plugs a product.

00:12:29 – The interview begins.

00:14:07 – Maron defends/apologizes for his garage.

00:15:15 – The guest comes out of the closet and/or there is a brief discussion about vitamins.

00:16:54 – Maron finally tells the audience who he’s talking to.

00:17:05 – The guest is surprised to learn that Maron had been recording all this time.

00:19:09 – Maron asks for the guest’s age. Then states whether he is younger or older than the guest.

00:22:38 – Maron admits to a false preconception of the guest, and that when he said the guest was sad/angry/pretentious/selfish that he was merely “projecting.”

00:24:35 – Maron talks about the guest’s “trajectory.”

00:26:47 – Maron asks if the guest is Jewish.

00:28:43 – Maron identifies with the guest’s dysfunctional family past or acknowledges that he is unable to understand the guest’s well adjusted life.

00:29:02 – Maron confesses that his mother had an eating disorder and his father was manic-depressive.

00:31:57 – Maron admits that he doesn’t know much about British comedy.

00:34:01 – Maron plugs A&E Hoarders and his conflicting emotions with the show.

00:35:52 – Maron wonders briefly if he is a hoarder too.

00:37:20 – The guest mentions Lorne Michaels.

00:37:25 – Maron tells the story about the one time he met Michaels.

00:39:25 – Maron is disappointed to not learn anything new about Michaels from the guest.

00:40:12 – If you’re the kind of guest who smashes things on stage with a large hammer, this is when you can walk off.

00:44:01 – Maron considers the guest’s experience with his/her own children to reevaluate whether or not he wants to have a child with his girlfriend.

00:51:59 – Maron introduces his rapid-fire “Yeah-yeah-yeah” to the conversation.

00:53:34 – If the guest is a comedian who has returned to defend his reputation, this is where the guest offers a half apology without fully taking any responsibility for what he’s done.

00:57:29 – Like a Raymond Carver story, an epiphany is reached.

01:04:53 – Maron asks, “Are we good?”

01:13:37 – The guest is surprised/disappointed that the interview was/wasn’t therapeutic.

01:15:41 – Maron thanks the guest.

◊ ◊ ◊

DRUNK HULK KICKSTARTER!

Christian A. Dumais — Mon, 14 May 2012 08:33:57 +0000

Many of you have discovered me over the last few years through @DRUNKHULK. And I’m thrilled and honored I’ve been able to make you laugh and add something positive to your life. However, you might not know that I can write like this, without relying on the Caps Lock and mutilating the English language in the process.

Writing was my first love. And I was so head over heels that it took me a long time to realize that I was supposed to share it. Once I understood this, all I ever really wanted to be as a writer was read.

I used to give my new short stories to my friends and family and then sit there watching them read. If they laughed or sighed, I wanted to know what sentence sparked the reaction. I remember being at a pub once watching this woman read my story – the rings of water left by the cold glasses of beer soaked its way into the pages she’d place on the bar – and she started to cry. I remember the way the bartender watched us suspiciously. And when she finished, she exhaled and said that the story was beautiful. I had never seen that kind of response to my work. I didn’t know I was capable of doing that.

I was only 22, still trying to find my way through the darkness as a writer, still coming to grips with the idea that some words weighed more heavily than others and if you stacked up the right amount of words in the right order you could warp constellations, sculpt new religions and fall in love inside altered gravities.

Now I’m older and I’ve become a better writer.

Today, I’d like to fulfill the promise that writing has taught me and be read by you. I have an audience of over 150,000 on Twitter and I’m asking you to take a chance on my other work. I don’t expect to reach all of you, but if I’ve made you smile or laugh recently, please consider returning the favor.

I’ve written hundreds of short stories, some of which I collected in Empty Rooms Lonely Countries. If you like the debauchery, humor and the search for love that I’ve explored in 140 characters or less with @DRUNKHULK, then you’ll enjoy Empty Rooms Lonely Countries.

If you like fiction that’s unpredictable, slightly irreverent and inspirational, then you’ll love my ten short stories from the anthology Cover Stories.

You can buy PDFs of both books right now.

Empty Rooms Lonely Countries is $3.

Cover Stories is $2.

Or you can buy both for $4.

I’m told some people are having difficulty buying the books, as PayPal keeps coming up in Polish. If that’s the case, in the url address “https://www.paypal.com/pl…” just change the “pl” to “en”.

I will personally email the requested PDF(s) to you. And I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. And if you like what you’ve read, then you’ll love the novel I’m working on right now.

Thank you for your support.

On Mother’s Day…

Christian A. Dumais — Sun, 13 May 2012 22:47:19 +0000

On Mother’s Day, Norman Bates really pampers himself.

On Mother’s Day, the Call of Cthulhu is to his mother.*

On Mother’s Day, Woody Allen gets an awkward visit from his wife’s mother.

On Mother’s Day, Jason Voorhees buys a nice hat for his mother’s head.

On Mother’s Day, Charlie Brown wishes he could understand the gibberish his mom says.

On Mother’s Day, Glenn Danzig apologizes to his mother again.

On Mother’s Day, John Connor sent his father back in time to meet her.

On Mother’s Day, Oedipus’ wife never got jealous of his mother.

On Mother’s Day, April O’Neil is reminded of that awful night she got drunk with Donatello.

On Mother’s Day, Ted Mosby confesses to his children that they were adopted.

On Mother’s Day, Bruce gives Alfred a nice shoulder massage.

*Little known fact about Abdul Alhazred’s Necronomicon: the first page translated reads “Dedicated to my mother. Love, Abby!”

- from tweets by @puffchrissy

West Coast Wednesdays: West Coast Avengers Vol. 2, #73

Christian A. Dumais — Wed, 09 May 2012 11:14:50 +0000

West Coast Avengers, Vol. 2, Issue 73 (August 1991)

WEST COAST CREDITS!

Writer: Roy and Dann Thomas

Penciler: David Ross and George Freeman

Inker: Tim Dzon

WEST COAST SUMMARY!

Wonder Man, Scarlet Witch and Hank Pym arrive in Australia, but that’s not a welcoming party waiting for them. Tigra crashes the quinjet. And Dr. Demonicus’ plan finally becomes a reality.

WEST COAST THOUGHTS!

Tigra just barely managed to escape the fight with Dr. Demonicus’ minions (West Coast Avengers Vol. 2, #72) and now she’s flying the quinjet to safety while trying to remain conscious from the blood loss. After a few mishaps, she finally gets the quinjet on the ground in the middle of the jungle. Once out of the quinjet, she falls into water and is just about to drown when she’s rescued by a strange arm.

Dr. Demonicus’ plan is moving forward and even his workers are getting excited. The Living Lightning is the only one who’s been kept in the dark over what is going on. Dr. Demonicus has given him a suit which allows him to retain his human form, but – as he discovers from Kuroko – the suit is also booby-trapped to transform him into a mass of formless electrons if he even thinks about causing any problems.

Scarlet Witch, Hank Pym and Wonder Man land in Australia. In direct contradiction to their last appearance in the previous issue, they’re immediately surrounded by an Australian security force. Since the security force is clearly outmatched, their ultimate weapon is to overwhelm the team with flagrant Australian stereotypes. Wonder Man sees their stereotypes and raises one of their cars and throws it at them while Wanda uses her hex powers to dismantle their weapons. Pym shrinks Simon and Wanda down for them to escape and they immediately run to the factory they were sent to investigate.

Once inside, Wanda and Simon are confronted by Cybertooth and Jawbreaker. Wonder Man manages to make fairly short work of them, but he’s paralyzed when they take Wanda hostage and threaten to kill her. Eventually, they are – along with Pym – captured.

At Dr. Demonicus’ secret underwater lair, the whole team (Iron Man and Wasp included) are put into individual glass tubes, which is a favorite among supervillains. In fact, Ultron used it a few issues back too, and you’d figure that Pym would’ve created an anti-glass tube device to carry around with him by now. Dr. Demonicus thinks this is a good time to let everyone know that he recently got a unique form of cancer, and while it’s currently in remission, it completely disfigured his face. He removes the mask to reveal a grotesque countenance that conveniently resembles the mask he wears.

And now we get to Dr. Demonicus’ big plan. He’s using magma to create an island-continent called Demonica. As the magma rises to the surface, the secret lair is thrust upward, causing the whole place to shake. Wanda is temporarily freed from her glass tube, but before she can use her powers to rescue the team, Kuroko knocks her out. Because a conscious Scarlet Witch would be too disorientating to regular readers.

The issue ends with the formation of Demonica, and Dr. Demonicus proclaiming that it will soon be the most powerful nation-state in the entire Pacific rim.

WEST BOAST OR ROAST?

Boast. This one works better than the last issue. The Tigra scenes at the beginning are actually well thought out (see below), and I’m surprised so many pages were given to that subplot (especially when there’s no real payoff for it next issue).

WEST COAST SCENE (OF THE WEEK)!

Previously on West Coast Wednesdays…

Hello. I’d like you to read my stories…

Christian A. Dumais — Tue, 08 May 2012 12:23:30 +0000

Now I’m older and I’ve become a better writer.

If you like fiction that’s unpredictable, slightly irreverent and inspirational, then you’ll love my ten short stories from the anthology Cover Stories.

You can buy PDFs of both books right now.

Empty Rooms Lonely Countries is $3.

Cover Stories is $2.

Or you can buy both for $4.

I will personally email the requested PDF(s) to you. And I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. And if you like what you’ve read, then you’ll love the novel I’m working on right now.

Thank you for your support.

- Christian A. Dumais

Interviews!

Christian A. Dumais — Thu, 03 May 2012 12:58:35 +0000

In the event that you haven’t overdosed with listening to or watching me this week, I’ve collected a list of some of the interviews I’ve done. It’s certainly not essential reading, but I wanted to put this together for the sake of posterity.

Enjoy.

An Interview with Christian A. Dumais (The Laugh.pl Podcast)
See where Christian writes.
DRUNK HULK Twitter Master Talks Burst Culture, a TOP SECRET Project, and Why He Avoids ‘The Daily Show’
UGO’s Interview with Drunk Hulk Creator
Writing Insight
The Wroclaw International Interview
Drunk Hulk Unmasked
Author Trek
Freelance Writing
Conversations with Writers
Radio Wroclove
Conversations with Writers 2

My Talk at TEDxWroclaw!

Christian A. Dumais — Wed, 02 May 2012 16:52:50 +0000

This is my TEDxWroclaw talk called “The Problem with Cats in Boxes,” where I talk about metafiction, storytelling, and how it shapes who we are. This is a nice prequel to my previous talk.